bombastic, a bully

i know i have the tendency to come on a little strong,
which makes unintentionally offending people really really easy.

that isn't my intention.

not at all. but i do stand by my convictions, even if they make some people uncomfortable or insecure or indignant, because i'm very passionate about what i believe. and, unlike some, i don't feel obligated to cater to people simply to satisfy a wider public opinion. in other words, i refuse to feed into the bureaucratic bullshit that so many people support mindlessly and out of ease, out of comfort.

because that's fucking dismal.

i mean, sure, maybe i'm being bombastic, a bully, when i say that i think "cats" as a piece of art, is obsolete, worthless, a commercial machine with little substance. it isn't hard for people to perceive my dislike of such fluff wrongly and twist it. i'm jealous, they say, or i'm resentful of their success. while i may be utterly flabbergasted by their success, i'm not at all jealous, by any means. and if "cats" is the archetype for theatrical success, i absolutely don't want that success. but i do think that theatre-goers and theatre-makers alike sell themselves short by constantly buying into such lame dickery.

because what does it do, "cats?" does it inspire change? does it prompt intellectual discussion? does it impassion people? no. it washes over the audience like a sugared-up hannah montana movie. they feel enjoyment, sure, but they could watch 'golden girls' and feel the same thing. the andrew lloyd webber musical, then, is archaic and needless. certainly, its ability to generate plentiful fundage is obvious. but that's because it's consistent and safe and audiences don't have to think or even feel when watching it. they can be mindless androids for two hours and leave the theatre perfectly satisfied.

((like i said, fucking dismal.))

it's a big joke, really. all this commercial fodder is just a bad joke. high school musical, legally blonde the musical, xanadu, cats: just a laugh had by thick-suited executives in boardrooms across the country, because they know exactly what they're doing. the american public has lost its sense of creative empowerment, and those suits are making bank on it.

come on, if everyone actually realized how phony the disney/broadway/ass-nugget franchise was, how retrograde to the growth of art it was, those suits would be out of a job. artists would have to actually make the art! and how many t-shirts can be sold off of that??

...but i shouldn't bitch so much...

after all, there are some revolutionaries out there. ellie covan, for instance, is probably one of the more inspirational people i've met in the last few months. a smart, eloquent - indeed, an intimidating - woman, ellie displays extreme conviction in her stance on art's survival in a commercial world. "never sell out," she says, meaning "never let the money stuff get in the way of your own artistic integrity." this woman has maintained such a conviction for over twenty years, refusing to forfeit her ideals for the sake of big money. she is to be admired and followed, because it's the ellie's of today that are going to ensure the longevity of experimental art, of important art, tomorrow. i, for one, am determined to uphold my views on the integrity of art and theatre, regardless of monetary pressure. if i never make a cent doing theatre, but really DO it, i'll be happy. sure, in a perfect world, i could have complete artistic freedom and be able to support myself and my family financially without compromising my ideals. but that isn't bloodly likely, not in our climate. it's like my dad says, if you really love it, you'll do it for free. so, i suppose i'm hopeful. hopeful for the future of theatre, hopeful for my future in it.

reassuringly, richard foreman says, "something better is coming. my theatre is one attempt among many to listen carefully, in order to hear the approaching footsteps."

i'm going to try to remember that.